Life too content?
I think I have bored my readers (the few that are left) to sleep... The lonesome wind seems to be blowing through my stat counter...
Maybe with no Hawk in my life it is too boring... I miss him, I crave him at times, but I don't know when (or if) he will be back... One never knows with him... Besides, I really see a solid future with Andy, and I don't know that I should get involved with Hawk again... Sort of like taking up drugs again once you have gone through rehab and have been doing well without them...
I am more content now than I have been in years... R is getting ready to leave my house permanently, my son is doing well (even though they have decided to hold him back in kindergarten again next year, *sigh*) I found a great registered daycare provider to watch him this summer, my job is going well, I am able to at least pay a payment on each of my bills every month (keeping my head above water) I have great friends,especially Allen and Rhonda, who introduced me to Andy, and Andy is the best thing in my life right now... I have so much fun with him...
I think I am going to move in with my mom for a few months though... This little 500 or so square foot house is costing me $300 a month in electricity... There are 6 light bulbs in the entire house, most of which are energy saving ones, a stove, refrigerator, computer, TV and VCR/DVD player... No reason for these outrageous bills. The city has put a new meter on my house twice, and the bills are still that high... Staying at mom's house for a few months will help me have that $300 a month to pay down my bills a lot quicker... It will be fun, too, I think, most of the time although I don't know how it will effect my social life... Luckily Allen and Rhonda love kids, and love my son, and he loves going with me over there... there are almost always other kids running around to play with...
ANYWAY... I am grateful for the readers I have left,(I seem to have a very faithful reader in Salina, Ks... would love to know who that is!) even though my life right now seems really boring when you are on the outside looking in...
Maybe with no Hawk in my life it is too boring... I miss him, I crave him at times, but I don't know when (or if) he will be back... One never knows with him... Besides, I really see a solid future with Andy, and I don't know that I should get involved with Hawk again... Sort of like taking up drugs again once you have gone through rehab and have been doing well without them...
I am more content now than I have been in years... R is getting ready to leave my house permanently, my son is doing well (even though they have decided to hold him back in kindergarten again next year, *sigh*) I found a great registered daycare provider to watch him this summer, my job is going well, I am able to at least pay a payment on each of my bills every month (keeping my head above water) I have great friends,especially Allen and Rhonda, who introduced me to Andy, and Andy is the best thing in my life right now... I have so much fun with him...
I think I am going to move in with my mom for a few months though... This little 500 or so square foot house is costing me $300 a month in electricity... There are 6 light bulbs in the entire house, most of which are energy saving ones, a stove, refrigerator, computer, TV and VCR/DVD player... No reason for these outrageous bills. The city has put a new meter on my house twice, and the bills are still that high... Staying at mom's house for a few months will help me have that $300 a month to pay down my bills a lot quicker... It will be fun, too, I think, most of the time although I don't know how it will effect my social life... Luckily Allen and Rhonda love kids, and love my son, and he loves going with me over there... there are almost always other kids running around to play with...
ANYWAY... I am grateful for the readers I have left,(I seem to have a very faithful reader in Salina, Ks... would love to know who that is!) even though my life right now seems really boring when you are on the outside looking in...
7 Comments:
I think, and I know you didn't ask what I thought, that you need some "me" time.
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Diane!! I can't believe you thought that... I love you guys... I haven't been on much lately, my life is so busy I stop in and type a few words and don't have time to read blogs like I used to... You guys are always the first people I read when I have time, though...
Buffalo... explain to me exactly what "me time" is...
All those months that I spent just going to work and then going home... going out with Jeff once or twice month... That was way too much time to myself... I am enjoying having friends now, and going out and having fun... I guess I don't know what "me time" is, or why I need it...
Me time.......you take time to be good to yourself. Maybe you splurge for some extra good coffee or wine. Get a massage. Take a bubble bath. Go for a walk in the country. Concentrate on you. Who you are. Where you are. What you want. Where you want to go.
Between working your ass off, which I know is necessary, you have been fixating on one man or another. The word 'fixating' was a deliberate choice.
Sometimes we become so bogged down in crawling through the obstacle course of life we start losing pieces of our soul and become willing to trade huge chunks of our soul for something - or someone - we think, think is another deliberate choice, we want or need.
Still here darling. Still around, just quiet too. Love ya babes.
Thanks, Magdala... that means alot.
Buffalo, I know exactly who I am. More so than ever before. I just don't see what *me time* will help. I take bubble baths when I am sore from work and I need the hot bath to make my body feel better. Concentrate on me... I guess I don't get it. I can't be sitting around daydreaming, I have to accept my life as it is and make the most of what I have. Otherwise I would get depressed thinking about everything I don't have, things I won't ever be able to do.
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